The Proxy
by Wicked R
Summary: alternative to “Soulless”, season 4, ep 77 AtS. Spoilers up till “Orpheus”. None of this Cordy the baddy crap. Everything else happens the same way until Fred brings the cup of blood for Angelus. The Scoobies also want to interrogate him and Conno


Title: Proxy

Written by: Wicked R  
Disclaimers: Mutant Enemy. They have all the rights. Remember, it's just for fun.  
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort. Horror/Romance/Action/Parody/Fluff/Aversion, a bit of everything.  
Rating: PG for sexual content and violence  
Pairing: A/C, F/G, and L/W  
Universe: starts mid ep. "Soulless", season 4, AtS, after "Conversations with Dead People", season 7 BtVS.Summary: an alternative to "Soulless", season 4, ep 77 AtS. Spoilers up till "Orpheus". None of this Cordy the baddy crap. Everything else happens the same way until Fred brings the cup of blood for Angelus. The Scoobies also want to interrogate him and Connor has his best chance of vengeance on his daddy. Cordelia comforts Angel. A lot. About 3 episodes length. Happy ending.

Spoilers: general season 4 and 5.

Warning: not beta read. English is not my first language, so be kind.

Thanks to: Michael, my ex boss, for commenting on the nakedness on the road to hell. I have to admit; I didn't hear much of the training session he conducted afterwards. I just kept thinking of how that comment would suit Angel.

Also thanks to Katriena for some corrections. However, the mistakes are mine!

Additionally, I just wanna say that I feel quite lost by the fact that Charisma's character was killed. For me, she is Angel's soul mate. And, honest God, I have never written such dripping lovey dovey stuff before, and I never intend to again. I don't even read cheap romantic novels. "Ah, I love you so much." If my hubby didn't tell me that a lot, I would never think that actually happens in real life.

Fred put the glass of blood on a wheeled handcart and rolled it toward the cell. She pushed it against the bars. Angelus moved forward, reached through the bars and retrieved the glass, then unexpectedly kicked the cart hard into Fred, knocking her forward into him.He grabbed her throat through the bars and held her tightly with her back against the cell, "did you really think I was going to drink from a glass full of animal blood if there was better stuff on the go?" He pulled one of Fred's arms into the cell, and started drinking from it.

Gunn tried to get a shot with the crossbow, but realized he couldn't without endangering Fred so he abandoned the weapon and hurried to her aid, trying to pry Angelus' off of her. He managed, but not until Angelus had enough to drink to knock Fred out. With her out of reach, he grabbed Gunn instead, repeating the same procedure.

A tranquilliser arrow hit Angelus in the arm, which made him loose his grip on Gunn. Wesley was at the other end of the shooter.

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Cordelia came downstairs later, turned off the security camera and moved towards the cell, "it's been a long day. You have caused enough damage.""Can I get a hug?" Angelus asked sarcastically."We're going to make a deal.""I know you want to know about the Beast but I don't see what's in it for me," he considered that a moment, "a new car might be sufficient incentive, I'd like the new Mustang.""Something better.""What's a better ride than a Mustang?""Me. You can have me can if you tell us what you know.""There must be some confusion, they removed the soul, not the brain.""Use it then. Things are falling apart; we're out of time and options. You are the only chance we have left.""Wes was better at the ego stroking routine.""You know what it means to be a champion.""I'm trying hard to forget.""Sometimes sacrifices have to be made.""I can think of things I'd like to do with your body, besides the obvious.""You can do whatever you want with me if you give us information on the Beast.""I think you're lying.""You know me well, look into my eyes and know I'm not lying."

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Wesley was aching, covered with the blood of the evil creature. His clothing was ripped and dirty. There he was. Tired, exhausted and worn out. No wonder, for he had just gotten out of a battle. Not just any battle. The final battle with the Beast.Breathing heavily, Connor also felt relieved that the fight was over. He felt a hand reach upon his shoulder and he turned to see Cordelia. She seemed quite drained and had a worn out smile on her face."We did it," Connor said.She nodded, "yes... it ended. The Beast has been banished forever and now all this horror can be overcome." Her clothing was stained and ragged, her right arm and some minor scratches lined her head and arms. The porch glared with sunshine. They all entered the lobby."I can't believe how easy it was though…well, comparatively," added Gunn, who had previously declared himself fit for battle, leaving Fred and Lorne behind to watch over Angelus, "was that all? You needed to run a sword through its heart, but from the back only? As easy as that? I can't believe it. And we needed Angelus to figure that one out?"Fred and Lorne didn't look as happy as it was expected given the turn of events and the reappearance of the sun."Wesley…" Gunn was offended as Fred headed towards the ex watcher, "I'm sorry. He killed Leilah.""From the cage?" asked Gunn."We didn't notice she went downstairs. She must've changed the camera tapes."

  
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Cordelia approached the cell. Angelus was sitting on the floor, "how did the trip go?""Well.""I expect you to live up to your end of the deal we made.""Yes, and I will offer myself to you. As Angel. You are just a disease and Angel can't wait to be rid of you.""Hahaha, remind me not to kill you right away when you free me having sex with him."

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The Shaman didn't take long to reinstate Angel's soul, which the team witnessed as him trembling violently in the cage. The soul disappeared from the container it was previously kept in, and the Medium declared the transfer successful. They didn't have any reason to doubt him. Angel stared at them through haze, tears burning in his chocolate brown eyes. Confused, he gazed blankly recognizing nothing 'til he finally collapsed."Let me in," urged Cordelia."Not yet, we have to make sure it's Angel.""You heard the man! I can feel it, open the door!"Wesley reluctantly complied, but went in after her with the crossbow, closely followed by Connor.Cordelia kneeled down next to Angel and shook him, calling him by name.

Angel could hear her, just couldn't react yet. Those hours or days? He spent in his old self, reliving and evoking memories, becoming conscious of the deeds and feelings long dormant. A wave of nausea swept over him as he remembered that he was more disgusted of Angelus, than Angelus was of him. His whole body convulsed violently.

Opening his eyes he took in his dark surroundings with a puzzled expression. An irrational dread came over him that somebody or something was going to get him. But no, Angelus couldn't get him, he was buried under the soul. That thought helped him a little and he focused his attention on the people around him.

Cordelia's wary expression turned concerned, "are you feeling okay, Angel?""Feeling okay? Hummm, yeah. Fine," he stood up facing an angry Connor. He felt he couldn't bear weight of it. He closed his mind to the hot angry beating of his son's heart, but he could still sense the betrayal in the naked eyes. He just wanted to get upstairs to his room, away from all the well-earned negative feelings towards him. When he stepped out of the cage, he still had to face Fred and Gunn. He only glimpsed at them, but he could still see how her fair skinned face was white as parchment from blood loss. The black man looked exhausted and was trembling. From the fight, but presumably because he was first weakened by his attempts to drink him dry. Now all of that was in HIS stomach. His friends' blood. Quite suddenly, he felt sick. They all just glared at him as he emptied his stomach contents, until it was nothing left than yellow vampire acids. If he could just empty himself of all the memories, no, emptying himself of Angelus would be better…He emptied the stomach acids instead, leaning down on four. When there really was nothing left, he just sat back there on his heels, face buried on his knees. He didn't want to look up, he didn't want to see the disgust on their faces. He was more disgusted of himself. Sorry will never be enough.Finally, he felt Cordelia's hand on his shoulders, "you wanna go up to your room?"

As he stood up again, now Wesley came into his view. Wesley's face wasn't telling anything, but Angel remembered Leilah. Angelus wasn't hungry when he killed her as he was when drinking from Fred. He just did it for fun. To show Leilah what was really impious and how she wasn't in his league, and to side kick Wes.

"Wesley…I'm…you all…I'm sorry I hurt you…""It was…a unanimous decision to let Angelus out. We all knew what we were getting into," shrugged Wesley and headed for the entrance."It's ok, man," tried Gunn as well."Cordelia, are you coming home?" asked Connor."Later, I have take Angel upstairs."

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"Connor?" Fred asked seeing the boy heading for the door."I'm not waiting for her THAT long.""True. It's been an hour. I'll go and see if everything is ok," she said to her partner, as he was the only remaining person present. She didn't find anyone in Angel's room, but the bathroom door was open, so she went in. Angel was sitting on the floor, head resting on his hand, on the toilet seat. The insides of it were of greenish yellow colour and Fred assumed it was bile. Angel's eyes were shut and he looked quite shaky. Cordelia was holding a wet cloth at the back of his neck."Cor. Connor left…we wanted to go to bed too, but…can I help with anything?"The sound of her voice re-sensitised Angel against his own revulsion and he started dry heaving above the toilet again."Is he ok?" Fred started to worry."I think so. Just…go," said Cordelia decisively, gesturing towards the door with her head.

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Fred and Gunn was just finishing breakfast when Cordelia came downstairs. Her eyes looked tired like saucers."Do you want me to make you some breakfast?" offered Fred."No," frowned Cordelia, "I watched Angel being sick every ten minutes for the last eight hours or so. Just water, please." She started explaining at the puzzled expressions of the two, "he just kept talking, I couldn't stop him. We concentrated on the terrors of the late nineteen hundreds for some reason. He just kept on about how he killed this, tortured that. As if I didn't know. As if I wanted to hear. It felt like I was a priest or something. Sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, envy and arrogance. Than all over again. Than a load of crap about sin and he kept saying the Sinner's Prayer. I thought he really lost it. Then it was hell he needed to tell me about. I think he is afraid of going back there. There is howling and gnashing of teeth and in which there is no rest day or night or something like that. Than it was about the awful deeds again and with remembering each one, he tried to puke them out of his system I think. Until his belly hurt that much from the effort that he couldn't talk. He still kept on throwing up though. Amazing amount of acids can vampires produce, I'll tell you that. He only fell asleep about half an hour ago, so I thought I might go to bed too. Would you mind keeping an eye on him?""Sure."

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The day went quietly till the afternoon. They could hear the noise of LA as much as it filtrated through the doors, all back to normal now. Gunn would've liked to go out and celebrate somewhere at the shore with Fred, but they promised Cordelia they will vampire-sit Angel. Fred or Gunn went up occasionally to check on him, there wasn't much to report. It was Fred's turn now.The phone rang, on an unusual, more constant way. The internal phone line the hotel once had. It was still functional, but they hardly ever used it. Gunn picked it up to hear Fred, " get Cordy. Now. I don't know what to do with Angel."The seer got up instantly at the sound of Gunn knocking. They rushed to Angel's room. He was lying on the floor in the foetal position, hands clutching at his abdomen, in a pool of yellowish substance, dry heaving. Fred was leaning over him, telling him over and over again how it didn't matter and that she wasn't hating him. Cordelia took over, trying to gently rub his stomach, "take a deep breath…come on Angel, you know it helps taking the thoughts away to concentrate on breathing…especially that you really need to concentrate to do it cause it's not natural for you…just concentrate on breathing…it calms doesn't it? Feel better? You will, I promise. Do it once more... Fred, get some samples, we need to check for poison…Breathe in and up, pull to the top and release…and call Wesley. Tell him I asked him to come…Breathe in an easy, continuous cycle without holding the breath…"

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Wesley came down the stairs to face the four nervous faces of Lorne, Gunn, Fred and Cordelia, "I can't find anything wrong with him physically. It must be psychosomatic.""What?!?" at least three of them yelled at the same time."Well, he has a soul, doesn't he? A psyche. The relationship between the mind and the body, the soma, is complex, controversial and in many ways still unexplained. So he can have a psychosomatic illness. Deriving from the soul, mental, emotional, that causes physical harm. We eliminated every other possible cause, so it is the remaining option is that is the truth, however unimaginable it may seem. A fellow countryman said that. Eh, never mind… However, a psychosomatic illness or symptom is indeed real...very real, but is brought on by thought. The stomach is considered very vulnerable to psychosomatic stimuli, as well as mental or emotional stress that can result in functional impairment. Stomach pains are real, the pain is real, as are the chemical reactions occurring in the body as a result of the thought about stressful events.""So what are we gonna do?""Hope he gets better.""Just that?""Well, he can't get a heart attack if that is what you are worried about...look, I'm not a psychologist, or a doctor. So…well, staying his friend would be the only thing I can think of. Maybe some relaxation techniques. But he already knows tonnes of them. He just needs reminded to put them to use. Anyway, he is feeling better at the moment. I gave him some anti-colinergic tablets and he said he was hungry…"

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"Do you feel sick?" nagged on Cordelia."No.""Dizzy?""No.""Nervous?""No.""Cramps?""No.""Right. Why are you holding your belly?""Well, no. I mean not like that. Just a dull soreness, like what you feel as an after effect.""Like you would know how that is supposed to feel like after a whole day of throwing up.""Yes, I would.""This…this kinda thing happened before?""Why do you think Darla dumped me? It wasn't just the not eating humans.""Oh.""What…what are you doing?""Climbing into the bed next to you, what does it look like I'm doing? You don't think I'm going to leave you alone tonight? I'm here if you need me. Just in case. Maybe you have your brooding skills back all right, but I wanna see them in action. Or not. Anyway, is it ok if I put my head here?"Cordelia. Good old Cordelia. How much he missed her. First the higher being thing, then the memory loss, followed by the ordeal with the Beast and Connor. Now she was there with him, acting important and giving orders. He would have argued normally, push her away. It would be hard to convince her of something she didn't want to do. Angel felt too weak to fight. Physically, and emotionally. Besides, did he really want her away from him? He felt the warmth of her body as she shuffled to try to find a comfortable way to sleep. He was lying on his side, with his back to her. She wrapped her hand soothingly around his abdomen and buried her head into his back. She still needed to catch up with her sleep after the fights and the sleepless nights.

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Cordelia had been in a quiet relaxing dream and closing her eyes in the dream had corresponded with opening them in reality. Waking invigorated and calm; it had been a long time since that had happened. She loved dreaming about Angel and waking to see his body next to her. He looked so adorable when he was asleep. Pure and good. What was the word? Angelic? Lately, she had been thinking some odd thoughts about him. Was she now fully taking on board the burden of completely knowing, being one with his past? And still being in love with him? Uncontrollably?Waking up, Angel felt someone staring at him. He turned to look into Cordelia's staring eyes, not sure what to make of the strange look.She smiled, "Good morning. How are you?"

"Fine."

"Fine as in polite, satisfactory or well?""Somewhere between satisfactory and well. And polite."Her smile became brighter and she leaned over him, their lips as close as many times before when it never ended in a kiss.

Angel was confused, "what? What is…is this?" he whispered.

"Your due payment for helping us kill the Beast."Angel suddenly pushed her away, "you can't be serious! You don't have to keep promises to Angelus, besides…you don't really have to if you don't want to.""I want to. To be with you. That was the way from the first moment the idea occurred to me to say to Angelus." She leaned in again, touching his face and hair, so softly, so incredibly tenderly.When they finally pressed their lips together, Angel found Cordelia's a little parted. Without knowing or thinking, he had slipped his tongue into her mouth, tracing the teeth lightly, so common amongst vampires caressing fangs. Cordelia reacted with a moan, and he stopped. He was scared of going too far, terrified of hurting her. From the looks she was giving him, he ultimately decided he hadn't gone far enough. She still smiled at him, and he moved his hands up her waist under her clothes. He pulled it over her head and she was pulling his off urgently, but he stopped her, holding her wrists lightly and kissing her. His lips moved from her mouth to her face and throat. Taking her hands from his, at the same time as his mouth reached her throat, she slid her hands across his back and finished pulling his t-shirt off. Her arms slid around him and the warmness of her skin so close to the vampire made him moan deep as he pressed his mouth to hers again. Her hands stroked his hair, ran over his back, his chest, and he was doing the same to her. Somehow, he laid her on her back and he bent over her, kissing her. Was this really happening? How many times had he hoped she would look at him like this! Her hands wandered away a little too much, and he looked intently at her in shocked contentment. He reminded himself how far he was meaning to go. Arms tight around each other, her ankles crossed over his back, they were swept away by the power of yearning; locked into one pace.His eyes opened and met hers, but she urged on, breathing heavily, "I trust you…trust you to stop…if…it's necessary…before…"Angel brushed his lips against hers, crazy with wanting. Her fingers clasped and unclenched against his back, sliding over his skin and down across his spine. He moved his hand under her and she curved up to meet him. Her legs squeezed around him and their eyes closed. He was already torn between wanting to end it all now and wanting it to go on forever. Angelus. He said something about not killing Cordelia too soon. What if Angelus… He froze, "no! Ahh!"He opened his eyes to see Cordy under him, with a shocked expression and frightened "Angel?!"He turned off her to the side, "I...thought about how HE…it's just…my stomach hurts."Cordelia sighed, "thank God, I mean…you know what I mean…""I'm sorry…there was still time to go on…I should've…at least let you enjoy it…""Ssshh. Next time, it's not that important." She wrapped herself around him, stroking his hair, his back, calming him."Cordelia. I have to tell you what I imagined doing with you just before I lost my soul in the cage."

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The two couples spent the day downstairs, having fun together, just being delighted by the turn out of events lately. No Wolfram and Hart, no Beast, no demons. Angel half-heartedly joined in the fun, quite sure he didn't deserve it. Life was going to be once again about trying to muddle through his strangling shame for a while. He was using his physical condition as a half pretext to just mostly chill out on the couch.The cushion swung out full power into Gunn. "Ahhh! Fred!" Another one. "How dare you hit me like that?""I called your name a couple of times but it didn't work! Ah!"This time he avoided it. Clunk! The cushion hit the wall. "Fred! Stop throwing those…Ahh!" Thump!Fred stormed into the office and slammed the door, with Gunn smirking boyishly after her, "we said we were gonna finally go down the beach tonight! You guys coming?" he glanced over to Cordelia, sitting next to Angel, smiling. It was good to see Charles and Fred being their old selves. They needed some time alone, as she did with her Angel, "no, but thanks. Maybe…tomorrow? We could all go out for a meal at the "Pier's". I so miss the delicious ice cream there…I don't think they serve blood though…""We'll go out tomorrow and you'll have ice cream," assured her Angel.Gunn glanced to one side at Fred as she walked over. Tank top, shorts, running shoes.....she was a pretty sight in sporty outfit.She looked up to his enthusiastic face, "C'mon!"He cheered, "The Ocean awaits!"With the other two out of sight, Cordelia stood up, just to sit back down on Angel's lap.

Angel looked away, "don't you think we should talk?"

"Yees…later…"Angel couldn't settle on what he needed more, just to wait like this, watching her forever, or to press important matters such as Connor. But his mouth was drawn to hers. When their lips converged, it wasn't more than a brush, a slow caress. As they pulled apart, he looked into her eyes. Her gaze went right to his hurting soul. Now he moved towards her too, almost undetectable, and their lips finally touched again. The sweetest of the caresses, the tenderest of touches. This time the contact was full, and he didn't understand how could there be so much feeling in just one kiss, making his body melt…"Cordelia. Leave. Dad. I believe I got sidetracked," Connor stake launcher was the next sound they heard. The stakes carefully avoided Cordelia, who pulled Angel towards her. The stakes weren't really to hit, they were meant to let Angel know that Connor still preferred their way of communication to talking."I guess the can we just talk about this comment will not work this time either?" mused Angel."What is this about, Connor? It isn't how you should deal with jealousy. What our relationship was about…I told you, when it happened. It was a gift, one off occasion, you knew that. I thought the world was gonna end.""It has nothing to do with that. I've seen how easy Angelus can escape. I've decided it wasn't worth the chance. Not that I was ever completely convinced otherwise. I would've done it a couple of days ago, but I had to wait until everybody scrambles.""I won't let you fight," stood between them Cordelia."Ask Dad," sniggered Connor."Cordelia. Maybe he is right. Maybe it is not worth the chance. Maybe Xander was right. I've been thinking about it…" Sometimes he could have done it himself, kill himself and he certainly felt like it just now. It was all his fault, he didn't need Connor to tell him that. The regret and the overpowering sorrow that overwhelmed him on his latest return of his soul never left him. He was just good at hiding it."No, no, no, no, no!" cut him off Cordelia, "just when everything was starting to go right, you two..."Father and son were already backing out, with Cordelia pursuing them. As they had the Convertible, she had no chance of catching them."Where to?" asked Angel at the wheel."Left. We are going somewhere Cordelia will never think of looking for us."

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Connor shot and swung at Angel's head. The vampire swiftly avoided the blow and lashed out in defence. The fight was intense. They were evenly matched blow for blow. Connor quickly figured out though, that Angel was weaker than usually. And strange and unbelievable as it seemed to him, blows to his abdomen seemed to hurt him more. He aimed as many of his blows there as possible.

Connor had been snooping around the hotel, but never believed for a minute, that Angel could really be in physical pain because of his emotional torment. He doubted even the emotional torment. However it was, this could be to his advantage. Angelus was just too dangerous a threat, Connor realised that now. His father was right all along. This world was so complicated, it kept dazing him. Hell dimensions were so much simpler, black and white. He turned his blade around, cutting Angel on the stomach. He figured it would slow him best. Angel could sense the blood leaking from his wound, but knew it was nothing more than a scratch. He blocked another aggressive blow and kicked Connor. Connor flinched in pain and pulled back before coming back at him. The teenager managed to place a direct hit to Angel's face as well, which he promptly followed with a double fisted blow to the vampire's aching belly, which had him hit against a barrier. He recovered seconds later. Connor sent a line of punches to his father's face and gut flying, not giving him time to respond. Soon, the vampire lay on beaten. The force of the attack was so surprising that it not just knocked Angel to the ground, but cost him his sword as well.

Angel glanced up into Connor's crazed eyes. The cut on his abdomen was still bleeding, but not as severely as it had been. His sword lay just out of reach of his fingertips and if he made a move for it now, Connor wouldn't falter in killing him. Closing his eyes, Angel prepared for the inevitable. He deserved it.

Connor stood there bewildered for a moment, lowering his defences. Holtz appeared in a flash of memory. The boy raised his stake and with a well-oiled movement and a perfect aim, he forcefully banged it into Angel chest. There was no resistance from his opponent. As there wasn't much challenge from him all along. He could have not been that weak, even if unwell. He wanted to be defeated. The speed of Connor's hand slowed, but the stake slammed into Angel's chest with enough force to penetrate the ribcage.

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Cordelia glanced at the clock. Ten minutes till daybreak. She had called all the gang, she even asked Wesley to search for the two adversaries, and they came up with nothing. The two people she cared about most were in danger. From each other. How could she misjudge Connor so badly? She thought the boy needed some guidance and that his heart was in place otherwise. Of course, messing with his heart wasn't the best thing to do to show him the right direction, but she was messed up herself back then. What could she do now? Panic? She heard Fred shouting "Connor" and she turned towards the door.

With some of his clothes torn, the boy stood in the doorway, pointing outside, before anyone could question him, "he is in the car. I need help to move him in before the sun rises. He is pretty much out of it."

They brought Angel in and onto the couch. Cordelia left the accusations for later, she felt is was more important checking Angel's wounds. Connor took the chance and headed out, not withstanding the angry looks. Cordelia blinked several times in succession, gasped and swallowed when she saw the wound on his lover's chest. She knew exactly how close that was. If she would've peeked in the hole, she could've seen the heart, she was quite sure. There were several other bruises and a deeper cut around the vampire's midsection. His skin was clammy. Angel was comatose, but even so, shielding his abdomen, and Cordelia noticed how rigid it was. It will be a long and distressing process to heal. That was it. Connor had his chance, his big chance, but he blew it, as far as she was concerned. She took control and ordered bandage compresses to stop the bleeding.

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Angel awoke slowly, mind and body not quite ready to regain consciousness and function. The dull stomach ache from before was still apparent, as well as the sharp pain that came from his new wounds. The urge to slip into a long sleep was overwhelming, but he had to know where he was first and where Connor was. At last, he was blinking up at the ceiling high above. The Hyperion lobby. Connor didn't finish it. Shit. More torment. No."Angel?" a worried voice invaded his thoughts. Cordelia. He traced the location with his head. She looked so concerned he felt the need to comfort her, "it's not that serious.""It isn't? That you go out and let yourself killed? Not serious?""No. I mean it wasn't like that. Exactly.""Don't lie. You cannot get out of my sight now at least for a few days, you hear me? I need to sort you out. Do you think it is only you that has trouble with life? Well, newsflash, we all have. It is very brave just to be living these days. It's a lot of work to be mindful, affectionate, valuable beings, yes. So you fed up with that? I repeatedly think that we should get paid for just being alive. Courage is not only for big steps, it's also for every one of the tiny moments which we're scared about and do it anyway. Being courageous is a choice, and a decision, will you be willing to make that decision or do I make you?" her voice threatened. It wasn't the wisest way to go about it, but since the "we need you" didn't work all that well, she had to try another way."Excuse me?" Angel scowled at the monologue, shaking his head, but "that's fine," he gave in quickly at the gaze Cordelia gave him, "I'll go upstairs now."That was old him, trying to look strong, not a bad sign actually. Cordelia fidgeted a little, "but I don't think, in your present condition, you could be going up by yourself."Angel frowned, but as the movement caused the soreness in his stomach to increase even further, he had to acknowledge she was right. Tiredly, he climbed off the sofa, holding onto the edge to keep himself upright, and held a hand out to Cordelia, who took it, pulled him closer and put her hand on his shoulder to steady him. "Very well," he moaned, as his vision swam for a few seconds, "just don't accuse me if I pass out before we get there." Cautiously, they started to climb, with Cordelia holding him firmly and quietly inquiring if he was doing alright. Angel, half-asleep already, could only signal in reply. Ultimately though, they got to the bed, and Cordelia laid Angel down delicately. Fumbling with the bedside lamp for a few seconds, she turned it on, letting a cosy glow encompass the room. He groaned, eyes fluttering shut almost right away.The creak of the door made him look again and it must have been minutes later as she set a glass of blood on the bedside table before bending down so his eyes were level with hers."Anything else I can get you?" she enquired."No...'nk you," he managed, his eyelids heavy.Cordelia reached out one hand to rest on his arm, "sure?" Angel moved his head in a way he could only hope would be interpreted as a nod, and Cordelia stood up at his affirmation.Mind cloudy, and not entirely sure of the advisability of what he was doing, Angel caught her wrist gently, "stay." He pooled every bit of his remaining strength into one quick pull that took her down on the bed next to him, then allowed to his tired body to relax."Good night?" she said tenderly, but Angel was already sleeping.

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Angel's eyes fluttered woozily as he began to surface from his deep sleep, "uuurgh."Cordelia sat up beside her and stretched. It appeared that knocking on the door woke them both up.

Cordelia let Fred in. "A few agitated people here. One, who calls himself Giles, a red haired woman and…eee…Buffy. Can they come in?"

Cordelia was too surprised to say no. Angel sat up, confused. Willow and Buffy gave kisses to the cheeks of both of them, completely aware of the marks the two people left on the bed in front of them. But Buffy reminded herself that her emotions were meant to be pushed aside when the welfare of the world was at risk. At least, she mostly managed to do that.Giles started explaining after kissing Cordelia on the cheeks lightly and shaking Angel's hand, "we are here because of a prophecy I read. And we also heard about the Beast. We found an indication that only Angelus knows how to defeat the Beast.""Been there, done that," assured them Cordelia."You mean Angelus? Was it really Angelus and not Angel? And he finished him off? Angelus?""Something like that, yes. Angelus was so kind and shared his information with us and we finished the Beast.""How did you get Angelus?" Buffy was wondering."How did you get Angelus to help you save the world??!?" wondered Giles.Cordelia and Angel just looked at each other, neither of them too willing to share."Just because we need you to do it again," urged on Giles, "a big bad started to perform tricks in Sunnydale. And apparently, the same thing applies. Have any of you remember The First?""No and no!" defended him Cordelia, "he is just back really, he's been through torture, no, I won't let you do that, he needs rest! Look at him.""Yes, well," scratched his head Giles, "I'm sure you will understand Angel, Sunnydale is already on the verge of extinction, big death count, and we fear that is just the beginning. If the Hell mouth opens, well, you know what happens when the Hell mouth opens…"Angel looked from one to the other uncertainly, then held on to Cordelia's eyes, asking her for help. More heroism? What do they think he is? The Mount Everest? The most disturbing thing about it though was, that he knew he will do it. Whatever they ask will be less painful than knowing that he didn't try to fulfil the expectations. Other than dying, the guilt could only subside if he helped all the time, giving everything he got.Cordelia stopped caring about Buffy's likely feelings and embraced Angel tightly in her arms.

With her holding him, he already started to get his strength together. People were dying. "You have to make the bars on the cage more dense, so not even my hand can fit out. And we have to make sure I…he will tell you what you need. The same trick won't work and I don't want him out that long."

"Oh, I don't think that will be an issue," intercepted Willow, "I believe I can hypnotise Angelus and he'll tell me what I want. You'll be back in no time, I'll assure you.""Heck, why didn't you come earlier?" Cordelia was frustrated.

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The improved cage was ready in a couple of hours. They all worked on it, except for Angel, who was resting upstairs."Do you need to take the soul yourself to be able to put it back again?" Cordelia asked Willow."No. The two operations have nothing to do with each other.""In that case…uh…this would be our only chance…sorry Buffy. Can we…? You all go and we go into the cage. You can come back later and interrogate Angelus. I'll make sure everything is secure and myself too…could you give us the chance?""Don't think so. How do you make sure he doesn't escape?" Buffy wasn't sure if it was a real matter, or just jealousy."Chain him. You did that before. If it was good for you…look Buffy, you didn't want the risks having a relationship with him. You wanted him, but you didn't want him in the same time. I give myself completely. And he finally understood that. It would be the world for me if we could…" Her own sobbing cut off Cordelia."He loved you?" Buffy asked, more from a lack of ideas than real naivety. And also, although she always refused to acknowledge this one even to herself, from a warped fascination with her own pain, similar to a metaphorical probing of wound to find out how much it could hurt."Yes," the answer came in schoolgirl frankness.Buffy didn't know whether to be relieved with the doubt, or envious. A part of her maintained that she didn't know why she should be worried or invidious at all, either way. She knew the question was thick, unreasonable, and totally insane. The answer, in the very least already obvious. Yet, she felt a slave to the horrid fascination with her pain, and the envy. She left without saying another word. The others followed. She was the Slayer, and it was her decision about the safety issue. Not even Giles would argue with her nowadays.

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Angel was quite surprised when Cordelia told him what she wanted him to do. He was going to cause some suffering to Buffy, but the suffering was even greater for Cordelia if he didn't. It was always a balance act for him, some anguish here, some endurance there. All part of a big plan of the PTB to cause him as much trouble as possible for a powerly being to cause to a vampire. And he had to enjoy it too. For it to work. He just had to go along with the flow. That was the only way it could work.Cordelia was completely cognizant of the task. She had to make this first-class for Angel.Angel's expression was considerably painful, as sometimes when he was thinking. The resemblance again, that his sister once saw. He appeared to be one of those suffering seraphs in the centuries old oil paintings hanging in the Church. The pallid features sparkled with a light gloss of sweat."I am 'The One,' right, Angel?" Cordelia asked for confirmation. If she wasn't this will never work."Please, Cordelia. Allow me first..." He nibbled, he licked. Every time Cordelia came near the precipice, one way or another Angel would feel it and reduce speed. Shortly, nothing her lover could do to put it off. Gradually the vampire amplified intensity again and she exploded into particles of pleasure exactly one minute later.Cordelia exhaled loudly, "amazing Angel."

He was still hard. Cordelia stroked it. Her hand fumbled as she worked on the smooth cock. "Come for me. Now," Cordelia encouraged tenderly.

Angel groaned deep in his chest and climaxed. Cordelia straightened, run for the exit and shut it behind her, just in case this was it."You were to remind me not to kill you right away?" And it was.

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Willow kept her promises. Angelus had no time to cause any trouble and Angel didn't seem to suffer any side effects this time. He was a lot happier now that he could help out again, paying off some of those debts. The Scoobies were away fighting their own battle, quite sure they had the upper hand against the First now.Cordelia smiled. Now she knew for sure. She was "The One". At least for Angel.Angel was terrorized by crystal-clear flashbacks that felt so present-day that he would have sometimes liked just to step out into the sunshine. But Cordelia was there, not leaving him alone for too long at any time, taking care he doesn't t start thinking too much, always reminding him of the promise of a better future. She was studying every reaction that crossed his features. He put on his non-committal face, but in reality, he regularly would've needed to howl and scream. But he didn't want her to see him like that. She thought he was over it by now, helping Buffy again, and that he would be even more back to normal in a few days time after that. She didn't quite realise that Angel needed a lot more time on this occasion. He was contemplating decades maybe? For Cordy not to see, he shed his tears under the shower, overwhelmed by the torment that rapt him. Fred and the guys? Their intentions were good, but they held no frame of reference to appreciate what he was going through. Their intentions were good when they brought Angelus back as well. And the road to hell was paved with good intentions as well. And for him, it felt like a forty-five degree slope, all waxed and he went down on it naked. He only would have liked to forget Angelus. Now he was so alive. Buried, but alive. If only alive enough to torture him. Angel got dressed as a robot would, a tin guy with no heart. He had to go out, he promised Cordelia that ice cream days ago. And he promised Fred they would go celebrate. Game face on, more in a pejorative sense. At Pier's, he ordered wine to try to match the high morale of the others. He took longer and longer sips, and then ordered some more of the alcohol.It was a casual Italian coffee bar with the proper neighbourhood feel. The tranquil atmosphere would have satisfied the toughest critic, but right now it was just reminding him of the meals he had in coffee houses in Italy. The customers and waiters. Trying to evade his own thoughts, he concentrated on the conversation the others were having. Apparently, Fred and Cordelia were envying the good looks of some waitress, "isn't she gorgeous, a bona fide delight?"Gunn didn't say they were wrong. He didn't admit to be looking though, "she needs those looks in her job."The right thing to do was to comment on the splendour of his companions, and Angel knew that. But instead of that, it came out like this, "yes, she's attractive, but I would not envy her, she just has a hard time having her period."They all looked at him in obvious bewilderment, "you can tell that? Of course you can tell that. Good God, I don't wanna think about how you would smell us when…""Don't worry," tried to sort the damages Angel, but it came out again as something awkward, "those new sanitary towels hold the odour good."There was another beat when they all looked at him in bafflement."I mean I assume there are odour repellents because in the past…""Ok, ok, that is waay too much information," said Cordelia, and then the laughter broke out."You refer to the ones with wings called Angel?" mused Gunn.Angel shortly broke out into laughter as well. Cordelia leaned on him so she could steady herself and put a control on the hysterics, "Angel, you know you're not meant to be drinking. Are you sure your stomach can take it? ""You're not my mommy," he said drunkenly as he shuffled on his seat.Cordelia let it pass since she knew Angel was inebriated. She shook her head."You guys are smashed," Gunn objected, while still giggling."We all are," corrected him Fred, "that Angel just said, hahaha, is he not like a big cat? The sniffing thing, the night vision, the hearing, the hours of darkness…""The pointed teeth, the prey…" continued Gunn. Angel didn't take it as amusing, he looked downwards to the floor.Cordelia noticed and gave an elbow to Gunn in an attempt to shut him up having just finished the strawberries she had picked up. She leaned over to whisper in Angel's ear, "are you irritated?"Angel grimaced a little in embarrassment. At that exact second, the waitress in question put down the pizzas in front of them. She assumed Angel was having some too, and put his quarter of the large, crusty cheese and bacon pizza in front of him. Angel shrugged."It's even better than how I remembered it was like when I was up there!" declared Cordelia. Angel watched as his companions gobbled down the flood from their plates in record time. He made an effort to be polite and eat a few mouthfuls. As the others continued to satiate themselves with an order of various puddings, Angel watched in bewilderment and some disgust. But it wasn't them that were disgusting, he knew that. It was him, he thought in self-loathing.Given the full stomachs, Fred suggested a walk on the beach. Except for Angel, food recovered them from being drunk a bit. Now they were full instead.

The soft-sanded beach was transformed into a party zone. Seemed to be a private one, presumably a high school party, but some older people were seen there too, so the girls felt like trying their luck and mixing in. The music filling the night air seemed to be keeping the party swaying. The gang settled down a bit to the side from the mad dancers. No one questioned them.

"So, what did you two do last night?" asked Cordelia, "aw... Gunn's blushing," she chuckled."He looks so lovely blushing like that!" said Fred."Don't even think about it Fred," warned her Gunn."Of course not, Charles! I wouldn't want you on my tail waving that axe of yours, now would I?""Hmm. After I declare a no teasing zone, I mean no teasing," said Fred in a kidding on serious voice.Angel interrupted them, "sorry to spoil the fun, but I think I'm going to be sick," belly throbbing as if he'd just taken a bullet, he was waiting for the world to stop spinning."What? Why? Too much drink? Or…you are not back to that self disgust crap are you?" Cordelia held him up as he was bending down."I think…there must've been…some traces of garlic in the pizza," he said between sighs."But the smell," indicated Gunn, "how could he not smell it?""You don't smell garlic when it's cooked well," offered an explanation Fred."Heck! How could we have been so thoughtless. Pizza is always at least next to garlic! What…Fred, what do we know about garlic poisoning of vampires?""Well, for one, it badly weakens them. It is better to get rid of the garlic…which he does now…which is great, because otherwise we would have to pump…and if there is nothing left inside, I'm sure he will be fine."Cordelia shook her head, "I don't know...I don't know."Angel shook his head as well, closing his eyes as the cool breeze relieved the queasiness he'd been feeling, "it's over...I'm ok.""You sure you're okay?"Angel opened his eyes to catch sight of the complete concern in Cordelia's eyes. He nodded and was happy that he managed to stand without swaying too much, and nodded again at Cordelia."What do we do now? You want to go home or do you need fresh air? Does fresh air help at all? Meaning the no breathing thing."Before Angel could respond, a loud barrage of bullets split the night air around them. It appeared that two girls just came round from behind the rocks that led to a more standoffish bit of the shore and opened fire at the party guests. From one could gather in the middle of the chaos that broke out, the targets recognised the attackers as their own classmates, but made no more sense of the situation than the gang could.Gunn immediately rushed to the try to stop the crazy attackers, Fred followed him when Cordelia assured her that she would stay with Angel.Before the vampire could object and declare himself match fit, Cordelia exclaimed as a vision beset her.Just a few seconds later, it was Angel's turn to help Cordelia up, "what did you see?""The girls…they are already dead. He killed them…""He? Who?""The bodies are possessed by an ex football team member who wants revenge on the whole team," she ranted, "he committed suicide in such a way that his spirit is hanging in mid dimensions and can control others. Anybody who gets shot and dies here will have the same destiny as the girls. But they move a lot faster than zombies would. We have to stop it before they are all killing each other off," she said mostly to herself, as Angel was already off.The direct approach seemed the most favourable and quick, so he ran for one of the girls, while several bullets got shot in his direction. A well built guy, possibly another football player who was shot, already stood up and turned against his mates. Clearing the crowd, he looked for his sword that he usually hid under his coat. Whatever the powers of the girls were, beheading mostly worked with all sorts. He rolled, leaped, and cut through the bullets, doing whatever it took to avoid as many of them as it was possible, still moving forward at a reasonable speed. The girl he headed towards was caught off-guard by the unsuccessful attempts of her handgun to make the man rushing towards her fall. Angel hurriedly lifted his sword as the girl jolted backwards. That wasn't enough to stop the momentum. Angel concluded his arc by slamming the sword down, spinal column making blunt cracking sounds upon impact.Gunn and Fred were fighting the boy, who had no weapons on him now. The other girl seemed more of a struggle for Angel. The clash was fast and furious; each took blows. One was so hard, that he vamped out. The girl didn't faze out at all, she raised the cross in front of him that she had on a necklace around her neck. Angel just snatched it out from her hand. The dead girl was clearly no match for the vampire. When he could get in one uninterrupted move, it was enough for him to behead the her.

The approaching Cordelia became aware of the lack of blood not flowing from the girl's neck. She was long time dead. On the other hand, Angel, long time dead, was bleeding.

The dead footballer was defeated too, Gunn getting the idea, but hell was still loose. The crowd was still trying to scramble out from the area.Cordelia moved closer to the fallen vampire. He sat slumped to a rock, forehead wet with both blood and sweat. His legs rested stretched out before him, one arm in his lap, still holding the necklace with the cross. The blood covered the fabric of his navy blue shirt, an unmistakable hole in the left shoulder.

"Hey," Cordelia said, bending down to him, "were you hurt anywhere else?" she said touching his shoulder.

"No. It's just I'm still feeling weak from the garlic.""Excuse me, but why are you holding that cross? And why aren't you in smoke?""It's a Celtic cross. It predates Christianity. It can't hurt me…and it's Irish."They could hear police cars approaching. Angel tried to push himself up. Cordelia wrapped up his right arm and pulled it around her neck as she dragged him up to his feet. With Angel leaning on her heavily, Cordelia bore his weight with difficulty, but she managed to guide him to his car, just as their colleagues arrived as well."We need to find the body of the one that was possessing these guys," said Angel, "and perform a lifting spell."."Don't you worry about all that Angel," said Cordelia, "that's easy. We'll deal. You need a break. And I know where we gonna go for a holiday. No arguments. Settled?"Angel nodded. What else could he do? Cordelia had already decided for him.

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It wasn't easy to find a place on the map that was close and which possessed the characteristic of Angel's never having been there. Ever. For any reason. Cordelia wanted him to have a carefree, old memories-free time. Finally they settled on Lompoc, situated on the scenic Pacific Coast. Cordelia had always wanted to see its legendary, colourful flower fields which grew from May through August on hundreds of acres. Angel liked flowers, as well. He spent quite a lot of time in the hotel's garden when thinking. They made him relax, so it sounded like a perfectly holiday destination.

Cordelia glanced over to the passenger seat for the fourth time in a few minutes, "you're very restless, Angel. Something wrong?"

"No," he said, his tone sad. Where had that come from now? "I'm sure you would like a real holiday someplace other than in this country."

"Now, don't you start that self loathing! I kick your ass if you do. Remember, you thought me how to. You mean it's your fault I can't go on holidays? I've been born in Sunnydale and everything else just follows up from there. Including being completely taken by an older guy that only had eyes for one of my classmates back then…Where would you travel? If you could, quickly that is."

"I don't know. Oceania's pleasant I understand."

"Somewhat remote."

"That's the purpose."

"We are just going to pass Solvang. Seems remote enough. Wanna stop?"

"No."

"No? That sounded pretty certain. Been here before?"

"You don't wanna know. Even if I hadn't been, Solvang is a picturesque town with a definite European look with cobblestone courtyards, windmills, brick sidewalks, and thatched rooftops. Reminds me of a Danish…"

"Oh. How much further till Lompoc?" she changed the subject swiftly, "could you look up the map?"

Her tactics didn't work as Angel continued, "I'm...I'm sick of living like this."

"Like what?" she asked. It was good that Angel confided in her now, but wasn't the whole point of going away being relaxed and happy?

"Like I'm in slow motion. Like no matter how hard I make an effort to go forward, I still wind up stuck in the same place. I'm worn out."

"Then why don't we stop running?" she whispered. She tentatively reached out and lay her hand over his. Her touch was like fire. She looked at him, then away to the road. She slowed down and looked for a place to stop. She felt like he needed a hug, now.

I'm going to kiss her all over again, he realized. His mouth brushed hers tenderly, then stopped, with their lips mere millimetres away from each other until she moved in for the next kiss, her mouth hardly touching his before pulling away. He leaned in once more, and the kiss lasted only a little bit longer this time. Her lips were yielding and hot and her arms slipped tightly around his waist. Angel moved his mouth to nestle at her neck, breathing in the perfumed scent of her, flavouring the skin of her ear. She moaned quietly and leaned into him, encouraging the contact. She pulled back again to take off her blouse and flung it to the back, which allowed him to push the straps of her bra and kiss her shoulder. He pulled the bra. She watched, then interlaced her arms round his neck and pulled him down with her so that he was lying on top of her. He overwhelmed her with kisses on her face before moving lower. Her pelvis began moving in phase with her breathing, up and downwards alongside him until he had to stop what he was doing, terrified he would lose control. He grasped his shirt and pulled it over his head, not wanting to spend time with buttons. There was this delightful feeling of her warm skin against his. Angel wasn't certain how much more he could take. The very thought of Cordelia being the woman under him had been sufficient to propel him over the edge in his imagination. The reality of it was overpowering. He began to pull urgently at her pants and slid his owns off. She watched him, cheekily taking in the view. He didn't mind, size wasn't one of the many things he had insecurities about. She let out a muted moan when his tongue made contact with her flesh. Her breasts raised with each breath. It was quite probably the most astonishing scene he'd ever witnessed. He bit and sampled and sucked a bit, her hips rising and falling in harmony with him and her moans amplified in frequency and volume. At last she tensed and subsequently exploded, trembling, out of breath and whimpering. He looked down at her and her eyes locked onto his. The passion was nearly frightening. There is something about staring into another's eyes during sex, a baring of the soul that surpasses anything else. Angel was afraid to go there, "Cordelia..." he croaked, "God...almost..."

She reached up to smooth his hair lovingly, then moved her hand down his upper body, slowly, thoroughly, "No, you wouldn't. It's too important."

"We are playing with fire. I don't like it."

"You are not gonna do the Buffy act on me!" she yelled, but calmed quickly, "not that you could. I won't let you disappear. Besides, we are connected. The Powers That Be want us together, take that into account."

"I know. I just don't know how we…how I'm gonna be living up to their expectations. It's so hard not to want to be happy. What do they want from us? Sometimes I think they are the evil ones, making us come through so many difficulties. How can I be so strong, when I'm not?"

"We'll be ok. We'll manage, as we always do. Only that now we have each other to fully count on."

They placed their foreheads together and remained in each other's embrace for what it seemed like an eternity.

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Lompoc had picturesque winding roads with steep hills in the background, farms, ranches, and a rugged coastline. The hotel was all in all, not bad, but not the Hyperion either. After unpacking the car and getting settled in, the couple sat down in the bar.

Cordelia raised her glass for a toast, "considering all that we've been through, considering all our little adventures, here's to a pleasant, relaxing weekend." As Angel raised his glass up to hers, all of a sudden there was a loud thump from somewhere.

"What was that, Angel?"

"I dunno, but I'm gonna find out," with that, he stood up, prepared to give something a good beating.

"Ahhh, it's just the basement exit door," said the barman, "there must be an animal or something down there. Nothing to worry about. They sometimes come in because of the smell of the meat we keep down there. But they can't get to it, it's hygienically separated off."

"Do you mind if I check it out?" asked Angel as he snatched a flashlight and started down the basement staircase, Cordelia close behind, holding Angel's jacket with the sword in it. They reached some cases, running the flashlight across it. Empty and quiet all around. They walked all over the rest of the floor, just to be certain. Still empty. Angel was still searching.

"Angel? Is it really necessary? No reason to run into demons everywhere."

Angel reached down, stood up again and wiped the dust from his fingertips, "too much dust, even if they don't really do any cleaning around here. They…we are everywhere. Now, where is the exit to the cellar? There …" He tested the handle and the door opened without problems, but it soon became stuck. The opening was however big enough to let them squeeze through. The jam at the other side was caused by a female body. Drained dry. At the other side of the street, there were five vampires munching on the same prey. The jaws gaped to present a full view of their serrated armament.

"I wouldn't do that," Angel said, also showing his fangs off to the opposition, warning hisses emitting from between teeth. They stood regarding each other in the silent darkness for a lengthy moment.

"We don't share that easily, come and get it," threatened the vampire that had his fangs closer to the girls' throat.

"Leave it," one of the other vampires said at that time, almost excessively softly for something of his size, "I saw him before. It's Angelus, the Scourge of Europe."

"Bah!" the other vampire drew back at the surprising turn of events, "we have to tell Sire!" They ran off.

Cordelia shook her head, "Angelus, huh? What an advantage to be in your company!"

"Sometimes…"

"Go after them?"

"No, we need to get to know the area first."

Buying a street map and finding possible vampire hiding places took a few hours. Cordy wanted her beauty sleep at last and they went back to the hotel. Angel stopped in his tracks when they got to the corridor leading to their room.

Cordelia heard the laughter as well just a few seconds later as Dru stepped out of their room, "Daddy came to visit his daughter." The previously seen vampires followed her, along with a herd of others, about a dozen in total.

"You…you went to Argentina," stuttered Angel.

"Mommy takes care of her boys here. And she will take care of daddy too," she said as the vampires moved passed her and launched an attack on them.

Angel started swaying his sword around in vicious semicircles. A physically powerful looking vampire holding a javelin came up storming towards him. Angel promptly altered his grip on his sword slashing off the top of the javelin. After that, continuing, he moved his sword up and to one side, elegantly cutting off the vampire's head. He turned the movement into a fast rotation, subsequently lashing his foot out and launched the skull, that was still balancing on the quickly disintegrating corpse, flying into other approaching attackers. Angel's face turned, but he still shouted at Cordelia at the same time, "to your left!" The seer ducked as a blade arced above her, swinging her own weapon low and gutting her attacker. Angel and Cordy were able to fight side by side and fend off more of the attackers. On the other hand, as time passed their opponents' numbers only seemed to increase. Angel's concern for Cordy continued to grow. The human-demon's power was starting to waver. The swing of her weapon was a little bit too slow. Worry for her love urged Angel on and he increased his pace. The vampires had begun to overlap their attacks, keeping him permanently off balance. No one had his skill, but they knew it too. And they knew how to fight as a team. And they had been. For the past twenty minutes. His body was beginning to hurt severely under the continuous exertion, but to slow down would mean death. He needed to get on the offensive again, and promptly. He realised they could not dust them all. They had to choose to flee instead. He had a plan now, so he viscously attacked the vampires that stood between them and the elevator, then pushed Cordy in it, hoping that Cordelia will understand. He tried to avoid everything coming his way. He moved swiftly, calculating and prudently escaping towards the window, while the elevator was still down. He jumped through the closest window, not without much doubt, that some of the vampires will follow.

However, Cordelia was right on the mark. She already brought the car, and Angel only had to jump in and relax. The car was moving, but maybe it wasn't just the car. The whole world seemed to waver. Angel was only just aware of his injury until he saw the blood dripping from his arm, mixing with the redness that leaked from his upper body. He was faintly aware of Cordelia fussing over him, trying to reduce his blood loss. He was covered with his coat for lack of a blanket, and strapped in.

Cordelia smiled at him, "we better go on, I don't know if they followed." She hopped into the driver's seat, locked all the car doors and floored the gas. The car took off with a squeal.

Angel coughed and straightened up a bit.

"How do you feel?" Cordelia asked worriedly.

"You have some aspirin?"

"I have in the trunk, but I want to put as many miles behind us as possible. The highway is just ahead," she glimpsed at Angel from the corner of her eye. Angel still looked pale and exhausted, his head lolled back against the headrest.

"Think you can make it?"

Angel nodded then winced, "yeah. Think I'll sleep now."

Cordelia kept the car going just ten miles over the speed limit, but watched for traffic cops as well. Irritation roiled in her with a vague sense of guilt. She brought Angel here. The only place in the area which wasn't likely to bring him any memories. Right.

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Angel woke up in his own room with headache and a stomach that was threatening to eject its contents. They must have fed him to make him heal. "Shit," he moaned.

"Angel, I'm so happy you're all right," Cordelia said ironically as she moved to his side. "When will you learn to tell me when you're very hurt?"

Angel could tell through his unclear vision that Cordelia was more worried than angry. "But . . ."

"No buts, Angel."

Angel groaned, "I'm…"

"I know. You're all right," Cordelia finished the sentence for him, "somehow that doesn't comfort me."

Despite all his discomfort, he smiled.

"What?" barked at him a half annoyed Cordelia.

"No one ever did that for me the way you do. All my long time on this earth. Just you."

"Do what?"

"Care. Darla thought of me as a possession, Buffy…did Buffy ever really love me?"

"You want me to answer that?"

"Uh…no. I know the answer," he looked up into Cordelia's eyes. His figures showed the same determination as his voice, "I don't just love you, Cordelia. I will make it work. I don't care how hard it is to stay beside you. I feel I am with you. I don't need to physically be with you, you give me all I need."

Cordelia almost burst out into laughing, despite the power of his words and what it meant for them. A man who wasn't obsessed with sex? Angel couldn't be that different. And he wasn't. He just had to be. Will he really stay with her now, forever? Or as forever as it goes for a half human, half demon. He just sorta promised he will. She couldn't ask for anything more. In the past few weeks she got convinced of her own feelings towards Angel, of her being the one for him, and now this. As always in their chaotic lives, this could be too good to be true. She had to take the happiness that came with this moment and enjoy it now. So she touched his face, caressing his cheek, slowly leaned on him for a kiss and prayed for the moment to last forever.

The End.


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